Hey, let's play a game! It's called,"See Who Can Be Quite for the Longest"

Week 4

              You guys have no idea how busy I have been and have not been able to write every day. So that’s why this blog is much delayed. I’m just going to tell you what I’ve learned and the highlights of this week. Also I will not be able to blog while I am on the youth trip as much as I have been recently. It’s crazy to think that I have been here for a month already, and that I have only two weeks left. The time has flown by. It feels like just yesterday I was on the plane landing in Panama. I was scared yet excited. Fast-forwards to a month later, and my time here is almost over. It’s crazy to think that God will place you somewhere at specific times of your life. This trip has really shaped me in ways that if I had stayed home that I would have never changed. Panama has been such a blessing for me. I have been enjoying my time being here and I have enjoyed teaching. I also have enjoyed the trials and the hardships that come with being pushed out into the waters. As James 1:2 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trails of many kinds.” Meeting trials with joy is not easy, but when you approach it with the joy of the Lord then it becomes easier to face.

James 1:2,"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trails of many kinds."

              So as I started teaching in the schools, I had to learn how to communicate with people that didn’t speak English. I also had to find ways to teach English to all ages of students. Both schools have been a joy to work in and I have loved every single moment of it. I would never trade it in for anything. This is an experience I will never forget and will always cherish.  With all that being said, 

let’s begin.

              Here I am getting up at 5:45 every day so that I can get ready for school. Something that I thought I wasn’t going to do until August. As I arrive to the first school my stomach starts turning, and my heart starts beating really fast. I have never taught a classroom besides Sunday school. So I was nervous. The first school is just elementary aged children so it wasn’t that hard to really adjust too. I really like kids so it was easy. I just had to keep them moving and keep their attention. They listened and they learned simple greetings. Easy English. After the first school, I went to the second school called IBI de Panama. This school has all ages ranging from High school to kindergarten. In the first week I had mostly been working with the Elementary kids at IBI. If you have ever worked with kids that age, I applaud you for all your patience. If you know an Elementary teacher, please give them encouragement; they deal with a lot. Just encourage all of the teachers you know; they have to do so much just to make a class run smoothly. I have a new

 found respect for teachers now.

              As the first week went on, I got more comfortable with standing up in front of a class and teaching. The first day, I was nervous to get up and talk, but I had to put on my big girl panties and face my fears. Now, I’m teaching and I have no nerves at all. Some teachers trust me to the point where they will just let me teach the whole lesson, and not say a single word. I have learned a lot about how different people and classes as a whole are. For example, I got to one class that is quite and ready to learn, but then the next class is bouncing off the walls. Every time that I walk into a class like that, I let them know that if they talk during the lesson, I will not put up with it and I will call you out in the middle of class. They usually understand, but sometimes they don’t. So I’ve had to get on to a couple of kids. Other than that, it really has been great. I have been enjoying every single moment of it and I never want to forget this trip.

As you continue praying for me, please pray for the students I teach. I’m also there to minister to any kid that is open to hear. I never force it on them, I wait for them to come to me. So please pray for opportunity. Thank you and God Bless.

      Isaiah 42:6,"I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles."

"I found the snipe!"

Week 3:

Week 2 was a blast. I had lots of fun with my friends and family down here. I missed home, but I wasn't as homesick am I now. I am still very grateful for this adventure and ministry opportunity. I have learned a lot about myself. For example, I probably won't leave Maryville once I graduate. I will probably stay there unless God has other plans for me. I have also found out that writing is a great way for me to say how I feel. I can fully express myself and I love writing. I may not be the best at it, but I love it. I may not get all the views in the world, but it's about who is reading it and not how many people are reading it. I understand that my blogs are long and take some time to read, but I really do appreciate the people who come back each week just to listen to how my week has been going. I also appreciate the people who have been praying for me.


So my week hasn't been eventful at all so for the right now, I am just going to mainly talk about Saturday and Sunday because I was semi-productive those days so far this week (it's currently Wednesday), but after that I will probably just ramble on about something that I find relevant to the people who read this.


Saturday June 4:

    So today Joanne and I just stayed at the house all day watching movies and just chilling out. So I got to sleep in that day and it was glorious. Tonight I went to band practice. I don't think I have ever been that frustrated in my life. I had no idea what songs we were doing. I had never heard those songs in my life. So you can image as to why I was frustrated. I didn't know what I was playing. Back at home, we have in-ears so that you can hear what you are playing and what everyone else is playing. I miss those a lot. Times like that really made just want to pull my hair out. So I walked out of practice not knowing what tomorrow was going to hold. So after practice, we went and saw the new Ninja Turtle movie. I have never really been into that stuff, but I kinda like it. It's genuinely funny and it's clean humor. They didn't have any profanity in the movie at all. After the movie, we went home. Before I went to bed, I remembered what Pastor Tommy had told me before I left," There will be times of frustration, but don't let that stop you." So I just told myself that we will try again next week and that we will get the list of songs that we are doing so that I could have a jump start. Then I went to sleep.

Sunday June 5:

      Today was a good day. Church was really good. Pastor Roberto talked about how God has a promise for you and he is faithful to you. It was really powerful. After church, we went to a mall to grab food. We went to Fuddruckers. It was so good. After that we went and walked around the mall. Joanne and I went into a store and found emoji pillows. We took pictures and laughed for a good 10 minutes. Then her mom joined us in the fun. We took pictures by a really big bear. We got a phone call from Pastor Roberto telling us that they were waiting in the car for all three of us to come back. We were on the other side of the mall. Once we got into the car, the most amazing thing happened. They were playing the most amazing music, Disney music. I knew every single Disney song that played and I knew the scene and what movie it came from. It made me realize that I am still a little kid inside. Once we got home, I went to bed, but I was woken up early the next morning because I had dreams about my parents passing away while I was gone. I cried. It made me really sad. That was when I realized that I was home sick. I had never experienced homesickness before, but I knew that
this was it.

                                                                     


          I haven't really done anything this week because the schools are on a vacation for a week so I'm hanging out at the house and preparing myself for the schools. I have also started thinking about what I am going to tell my youth group when I get back. I know that I will talk about the trip and what happened, but I also want to talk about what happens to someone once they are pushed way outside of the comfort of friends and family. You really find out what you are made of. When you go on a mission trip with your church, you have people that you know are going, but when you go live with people that you don't really know for 6 weeks, you really find out a lot about yourself. For example, I found out how much I really do love my parents and all they do for me. You really find out where your treasures lie and who you really rely on. This has been a reality check for me so far. It's made me realize that position doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you are a pastor over a church or you are someone who just attends the church, we all need Jesus the same amount. All of us need to acknowledge that in this crazy life, we still have Jesus. I have also learned how constant he is. He is the same God in the US as he is everywhere else. Who is more constant then that? NO ONE. I am starting to learn what it means to be content in him. As a young teenage girl growing up in the US where people are getting married really young, it's easy to wonder why I haven't met the man that God has for me, but I am learning that you need to truly fall in love with Jesus before you fall in love with someone else. He is the provider. How could you not be content in him? I want to have true joy and have true peacefulness because I am steadfast in him not because there is someone on this planet that will make me happy. God knows when I will get married and I don't. So why wouldn't I trust him and be patient? When you really think about these things, you see how the world entangles you in believing that the way to true happiness is through a relationship. God is the only way to achieve full joy. There's a difference between joy and happiness. Joy is everlasting, while happiness is here for a second.  I want the joy of the Lord to be my strength, not what other people think of me. I want the peacefulness of the Holy Spirit, not the acceptance of other people. God already accepted me. If someone doesn't accept me, then it's okay. Honestly if you ever get a chance to get away like this or to go on a mission trip by yourself do it. You learn who you really put all your trust in. It gives you a whole new prospective of life and how you should be drawing closer to God everyday. It teaches you so much about God and his faithfulness. Every time that I get homesick, I am reminded that God is with me and that he will be here to comfort me wherever I go. He has comforted me every time I have called out to him. Psalms 34:4 says," I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears" (NIV). One of my mentors had shown me this verse when I was going through some scary stuff and this verse has been ringing in my heart ever since. God is just so good and faithful in the good and the bad times. As you continue on with your week just remind yourself that God is always there for you and loves you. Just trust in him.

Here are some pictures from this week: 

My favorite Panamanian dish

Trying to be our favorite Emojis

The bear wanted to come to town

"A Wilderness Explorer is a friend to all, be a plant or fish or tiny mole!"

Week 2

As I have reflected on the first week, I see where God is about to use me like he never has before. I'm about to me a whole new person. Life, as I know it now, will never be the same. I have been calling this trip my "Launchpad". For me, that means I'm being prepared to walk in my true calling. I am ready to go and do all the things God has called me to do.


Saturday May 28:

            You know how I said I was going to sleep in today? Well that didn't happen, but it's okay. I had to suck it up and deal with the fact that I'm not in charge of my schedule. Heck, I don't even know what I'll be doing tomorrow or the next week. I just play it day by day. So when people ask what I'll be doing tomorrow, I just say," Who knows because I don't." Not knowing what my schedule is usually stresses me out and I feel like I have no control over anything, but I am quickly learning that God will find you in those moments. So I'm putting my big girl panties on and living life.
   Today we went to a seminar for the Chaplin of Panama. The meeting lasted from 9 am to 4 pm, but luckily for me, Joanne picked me up from there at about 1:30. We rode the metro, which was new for me. I almost got off at the wrong metro stop and Joanne had to pull back onto the metro, which was really funny. Then after the metro, we got on a public bus. I have never ridden on a public bus before, and when you're the only white person on the bus you get stared at. At this point, I just want to look down at my arm and act all surprised when I see that my skin is white. I am seriously over everyone staring at me because I am white. I know when you are staring at so please stop. Anyways, after the bus we caught a taxi. Once we got to the house, there waiting for us, was pizza. I don't remember the last time I had pizza. It was good pizza too. My pizza tank has been fueled. For the rest of the day, Joanne and I just hung out in the house. We watched the movie "When a Stranger Calls" and made brownies. After watching "When A Stranger Calls", a neighbor of the family's was at the gate and I looked at Joanne and trying to compose myself I said,"There is someone outside." At first she thought I was kidding then she saw them. It turns out that he was giving Matthew an invitation to a party.  Joanne learned something about me that day. I get scared easily by two things, movies and freakishly large toads. So on our to the store to get ice cream for our brownies she yells, "SAPO (TOAD)!!" I said,"Not today Satan." and walked a little bit faster. For the rest of the night Joanne would look at me and say,"Not today." I have rubbed off very well on this family.


Sunday May 29:

      I got up a little late this morning, but it worked out fine. I went to church with Joanne this morning. As we were leaving she was telling me that pastor is going to surprise his wife and they were going to stay at a hotel for 2 days. I thought that was really sweet. It wasn't there anniversary or anything. He did it simply because he loves her. I can't wait to have a marriage filled with Christ and love like that. When we got to the church, I ate a somewhat normal breakfast: fried bread and meatballs. Church started at about 11. The first week at church it was harder for me to get into the worship there because 1) it was in Spanish and I didn't understand what they were saying 2) I was really outside of my comfort zone in all honesty.  This week I told myself,"Just because you are in a different country doesn't mean that your worship should be any different. He is the same God here and as the same God at home. He knows you." After telling myself that, I wasn't uncomfortable. I didn't magically learn the language in a week, but I still worshiped by praying and giving thanks. I sang songs of my own. I found a way. Just like how God has found a way to reach everyone of the world. It's really crazy to think that the same God we love and worship is the same God throughout the world. There's nothing else like that. The Holy Spirit is the same Spirit. Every element of God is exactly the same. The difference between the U.S and Panama is who is leading the service. Is the service Spirit led or does it have the agenda of man? Most churches in America are just very tight scheduled and comfortable in that way. The church I go to, however, is very much Spirit led. It is alive and thriving. Not all churches are that way and I am very blessed with the church I go to. In Panama the churches don't have an agenda, they just go for it. They worship with such humility and humbleness. Even though I am in a different country, I could really feel God's presence in that church. This Sunday we had a guest speaker from Guatemala. He talked kinda fast and I couldn't really understand him, but I caught more of what he said than what I had caught last week. I'm learning how to understand the fast Spanish and speak Spanish better. If I know what I am saying really well, I speak at the speed of the people who live here. After church, Joanne and I went to the store so she could pick up some makeup and then we went home. Lorena and her niece, Ruth, picked me up and we went to the movies. We saw the new Alice in Wonderland movie. When we sat down I was thinking that it was going to be in English, but when none of the commercials in English I knew that this was going to be in Spanish. I was correct. The whole movie was in Spanish with no English subtitles. I could tell what was happening because well they are acting out what they are saying. So from what I could tell, it was a good movie. After the movies, we went to Wendy's. I had to really use the bathroom. So I walked in there and it smelled like someone had relinquished fire and brimstone with a strong addition of sulfur in that poor, innocent bathroom. Once I stepped into my stall, I noticed there was standing water in there. That was a nightmare of itself. Then I went to go wash my hands and the sink attacked me and sprayed all on my shirt. I left the bathroom with my jacket zipped all the way up so no one could tell, but then I got really hot and just didn't care. After Wendy's I went back to Lorena's house and visited with her family. As soon I was walked inside that door, I knew I was family. I went back to my house and went to bed.

Monday May 30:

    OH MY GOSH!! LORENA TOOK ME TO THE ZOO TODAY!!!! I couldn't be anymore happy about it either. There were so many animals. There were animals from Central and South American jungles. At the zoo they had the national bird there. It's called the Harpy Eagle. These birds are endangered and are protected. There were also a lot of monkeys there and other kinds of exotics birds. They even had an animal called the Tapir and it was a big pig like animal that was really exotic. It's crazy to see the variety in animals depending on what region they come from. After the zoo we went to the mall to eat some food. I had rice and chicken. Then I went back to Lorena's house and watched movies. Then I went home and went to bed.

Tuesday May 31:

    Today I didn't do anything besides talk to family and friends back at home. I also watched full house on Netflix. I forgot how great that show is. During that time, it hit me that I was wasting my time. I thought," You could be using this time to really press into God." My Pastor back at home had gave me some advice that was ringing in my ears at that time. So I started reading and listening to worship music. I then felt like I wasn't wasting my time, but instead I was utilizing it to find the heart of my father and learn about him. After my quiet time, I talked to my mom on Skype for a little bit then went to bed.

Wednesday June 1:

      Today hasn't been too eventful. Got up at regular time and went to the church. I thought it was a good time to read some more and listen to some sermons. So I listened to Kari Jobe's teaching on Worship. It was so good. She talked about the importance of letting our Spirit man sit down and let God be God and soak in his presence day in and day out. She also talked about the role of the worship leader. One thing that is really sticking out to me is that she talked about knowing the voice of the Lord. She used the verse John 10:27 "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." The point she brought up is; how are we supposed to know the voice of the Lord if we don't spend anytime with him. We know the voices of people who we are around the most. We don't recognize stranger's voices because we haven't spent anytime with them. This is how it is with God. To know what his voice sounds like in a world of other voices we have to spend everyday with him and let him speak into our lives.
    We left the church around 2 pm and went back to the house. I took a little nap, but was woken up by a thunderstorm that lasted until 7 pm. It was raining very hard. Before going to church, I video chatted with Tori and talked to people from church. It made me realize how much I miss them and wish I was there. However, I am more than grateful to be here and to be serving. I just miss home. This has been the longest time I have been away from my parents. I am grateful that they sent me here though. After church, we went to go get food and then we went home. We got home at about 11:30 pm. I went straight to bed.

Thursday June 2:

   Today wasn't eventful at all. I was really tired though. I'm not used to waking up this early. For school I wake up at about 7:15, but here I am waking up at 6:00. We were at the church until 12:30. Once we got home, I took a 2 and a half hour nap. It was glorious. The rest of the day we all just stayed at the house and relaxed.


Friday June 3:

    This morning I got up and got ready. For breakfast we had pancakes and scrambled eggs. It was really good. I think it's the first meal in almost a week I haven't had rice. My easy weeks are about to end and I'm really about to get busy. I will be helping out at two different schools. I will also be helping out with ages kindergarten to my age. This will really give me a good idea of what age group I want to work with. The schools I will be working with are both christian schools so I am really thankful for that. I know that every kid that goes there isn't christian, but gives me an opportunity to share with them about my walk with Jesus and my life. It's the reason why I'm here. I'm here to be a servant. I really can't wait to start working there. I read this bible verse this morning that is so good. As soon as I read it, I knew God was in the room. The verse is Isaiah 42:6-7,"I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of you hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness." I can't explain it, but I just know that this verse is for me.
    Today after we left the church we went to the mall to eat. THAT MALL IS HUGE!! It's the biggest mall in Latin America. It's seriously insane. For lunch I had chicken and rice (typical) and a salad which was really good. Now we are back at the house and I think we are just chilling for the rest of the night. This is the first day since I have been here that I'm not exhausted and wanting to sleep. I'm actually wide awake. As always, I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow so who knows if I'll sleep in tomorrow.



This second week has had it's ups and downs, but I am constantly reminded how much God loves me and how forgiving he is. Thank you everyone who has been praying for me. Please continue to pray for me as I go into these schools within the next couple of weeks. I am about to really pushed out of my comfort zone and will need the prayer. Thank you in advance. God sees you praying and I feel your prayers. I'm so grateful to have the support that I do. So thank you so much and God bless

Pictures from the week: 

At the movies

 

Just a cute little bird

The National Bird of Panama

Me eating a very yummy empanada